A Line in the Sand

Three years ago was my last trip to Colour Conference. I heard very clearly from God on that trip and I came home with a word on my heart. Resolve.

Two meanings to the word ‘resolve’ are “to decide firmly on a course of action” and “firm determination to do something”.

For me, I took it away and wanted so badly to apply that to my following of Jesus. And I did. I drew a line in the sand and resolved to follow Jesus passionately, well and with determination. I could do that.

However, after a while, my line started to fade and the word resolve started to hold less and less meaning as it did when it was fresh.

I became busy. Doing a lot of things, juggling lots of balls in the air as they say. I look back now and have no idea how I did it, (or even why I did it!) but the busyness took its toll and I grew tired and weary and, eventually, the word “resolve” was a distant memory.

Yes, I had drawn a determined line in the sand, but then the tide came up. A storm arose and it washed that line away and bit by bit, wave by wave, it eroded my “resolve line”. In my world, I had to make some adjustments, I had to re-evaluate my situation and I had to pray. A lot. I realised that although I had drawn a line, I then forgot what I drew it for; or rather, WHO I drew it for.

After some time, including difficult times and beautiful times spent with God, one Sunday morning, I had a definite, purposeful encounter with God. One of those specific Damascus Road moments where everything becomes clear again after a foggy morning. Out of this moment came the phrase “draw a line in the sand”. I felt that resolve flow back in that I had discovered and experienced 3 years ago. This time though, I felt I was not doing it in my own strength, but by the grace and strength of God; He was with me when I bent down this time to draw my new line in the sand. In hindsight, I believe last time I did it in my own strength, out of what bring to the table myself.

We can’t live off the revelations that we had 3 years ago, even 3 weeks ago. We need to constantly be seeking God and letting Him speak to us anew, help us lift our heads and see that He is in the boat calming the storm, that He is with us when it is a good season; He is with us when it is a bad season; He is with us always and forever.

I wanted to encourage us all that we can all have moments of drawing a line in the sand; we can all resolve something in our hearts. However, that doesn’t mean that there won’t be storms; there will be a fading, even a total disappearing of that line sometimes. We need to constantly be drawing a new line in the sand each and every day. Draw that battle line and go again…..WITH Jesus, not just FOR Jesus.

Lamentations 3:22-23(NIV)
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

Promises, Promises!

We were very fortunate to hear from Rudy Nikkerud from Planetshakers Church on the weekend. The whole sermon was great, but one point stood out for me and I haven’t been able to shake it. Rudy spoke on Joseph’s life in the Bible and pointed out that Joseph didn’t finally see God’s promise come into fruition once he had reached the Palace – it was with him all along. God didn’t hold his promise back from Joseph until his life had turned out ok.

God’s promise was with Joseph in the ditch, in the prison, in the turmoil with Potiphar and in the Palace.

So, a little while ago I was given Grant’s grandmother’s sewing machine so that I could start taking up hems myself. The last time I used a sewing machine was while making a hideous, bright yellow pair of shorts in Home Economics in Grade 8!

I opened up the sewing machine to get my sewing skills on and there were no instructions. About three hours, a lot of You Tubing, many mistakes, a few frustrated tears and a dash of anger later, I worked it out and was able to achieve my purpose!

What struck me about this experience was it’s contrast with the kingdom of God. God doesn’t give us dreams and a promise and then leave us to our own devices to achieve them. God gives you dreams and then gives you the tools, abilities and gifts to be able to achieve that dream. It just doesn’t happen straight away; there are things to learn along the way to enable you to handle and cope with that dream you have.

Ever bought IKEA furniture or a flat pack? We are given the full tools, the full equipment, the full instructions to be able to put them together, but it doesn’t happen right away. You have to work at putting it together, you have to assemble it in the correct order.

Sometimes you can fool yourself into thinking you’re good enough to do this without looking at the instructions. “It’s ok, I got this, it’s only a few things to put together, what could go wrong?”. Then 15 minutes later you realise you used the wrong screws and you have to undo everything you have just done! You should have just followed the instructions in the first place.

Sometimes, we think we can do this thing called life, and we can fool ourselves into thinking that we are good enough to do to it by ourselves. Generally, we soon realise we have taken the wrong turn and we have to undo the past two years, or twenty years, of our lives to get back on track towards our God-given dream. We should have just followed the instructions – aka God’s voice and Word.

So you have a dream, a promise burning in your heart but and can’t see how on earth it will come to be? Let me just share really briefly four lessons I have learned:

1. Trust that God has got this. He is with you in the ditch, on the mountain, in the storm and in the calm. Deuteronomy 31:8 – “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you – He will never leave you or forsake you”.

2. God is faithful to finish what He started. He won’t give you a dream and not want to see you fulfil it.

3. Continually be searching His Word and listening for His voice above all others. Block out the loud sounds around you and listen – He will speak.

4. Step by step. Rome wasn’t built in a day! Take all the time you need, but just do what you need to do with passion, intention and humility and let God do the rest.

We are all learning, and best of all, we are all learning together!

Written by Fiona Medwin

What’s That In Your Hand?

Ever feel unequipped? Ever been thrust something that is so far out of the realms of the familiar that you wonder why is this even happening to me? How can I do this? I think you’ve got the wrong person because I just CANNOT do that!

Yep, this has been my story for the best part of the last year. Being thrown in the deep end, going to and fro between what I can do, should do and want to do. I have learned a few things though. Sometimes you just don’t know what you’re capable of. Sometimes you just don’t know what God is doing in you and through you, until you take a step. 

So in the last year, I’ve watched my little family transform. It has grown in ways I couldn’t have imagined or planned for. We have grown from a little family of 4, to 6 and now to what will soon become a family of 7. Insane? Absolutely. Do I feel equipped? Maybe, sometimes? Throughout this journey I have asked many questions, sometimes many times. Have we made the right decision? Can we do this? Why are we doing this? The list goes on. Self doubt has been a pretty big factor. It’s not a small deal to take on the responsibility of kids that you haven’t grown yourself. I mean, it’s totally fine to make mistakes on the ones I made of course, they’ll be right. Not these ones though. Urgh, am I doing this? I am doing this!

I totally take comfort in the fact that self-doubt is not my thing alone, Moses was also a doubter. See Exodus for proof: Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, ‘The Lord did not appear to you’?” Then the Lord said to him, “What is that in your hand?” [Exodus 4:1-2]

What if! That’s one of life’s largest looming questions, isn’t it? What if it turns out all wrong? What if they don’t like me? What if I fail? Sometimes you have to put all those “what if’s” aside and decide to use what’s in your hand. In my experience, it’s always something. What if you succeed and it turns out that you’re greater than you could have ever imagined? What if I didn’t take on these kids because I was too scared that I only had a limited time to love and sow into them and that’s a big risk because there’s every single chance this much love may have to come and go at irregular intervals. What if I love them anyway, anyhow, as much as possible for as long as possible and I do it at every opportunity I am given ,because love is something in my hand, I can always give it.

Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” [Exodus 4:10-12]

I have never, never, in my whole entire life planned on doing or being this. I have never been trained. I have never been very good at that. Honestly, I’ve never had to step out in faith more. And I have found it very comforting that God has met me every single step of the way. Never in my life did I imagine being responsible for so much. I could never have planned for the things life has had in store for me, but the more I go, the more I am learning I am not out on my own, even if sometimes it really has felt like it. It is tempting and totally viable to sit and dwell in what I haven’t done well before, or in some cases EVER at all. Or I can stand up, step out in faith and go with no idea what I may walk into but faith in who I will have to walk with me.

But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.” [Exodus 4:13]

Oh yes. Send someone else. Someone else can do it. Why me? I think at some point this is so true about every person’s response to the experience of being a human. I know some mornings as the alarm rings through the house I think this. It’s so much easier to think someone else should. Responsibility can be a hard thing to take. But God has not chosen someone else. He’s chosen you and he has chosen me. 

Way back when God approached Moses, Moses’ first reaction was, “Who am I?” [Exodus 3:11]  And throught out the last year as I have sat and contemplated the craziness of what we have committed to, it has been brought home to me and I can’t help but think. Who am I not to? I have sat and also contemplated these words by Marianne Williamson…

“Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 

Do it, do it with what God has placed in your hand.

The Golden Moments

“Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord for we walk by faith, not by sight”. 2 Corinthians 5:7

Life as a high school teacher (and a mum, and a wife, and a leader, and a friend, and a plain old human being!) is a crazy juggle. I’ve written about this before, but lately it’s been on my mind more that usual. Lately, I’ve been feeling like my brain and my diary are so full of curriculum documents, marking folders, parent phone calls, classroom displays and staff meetings, that my faith can’t possibly be making any impact in my workplace. How could it? I barely have time to talk to God during a work day, let alone talk to anyone about him!

It is not unreasonable for me to think like that, amidst my busy teaching day, but I’ve been pleasantly surprised (again) by God. It turns out, and hold onto your hats; this is revolutionary, that God’s ability to move is not hampered in anyway by my limitations. Just because I can’t see what he is up to, doesn’t mean he is inactive.

Most of the time, I don’t see God moving in my work life. It’s like a really overcast day in a way; I can’t see the sunshine, I can’t feel the warmth, but I know that it is still sustaining life. That’s walking by faith, trusting in a God whose hand you can’t always see working. And every so often, those clouds part and for a glorious moment, I get the see those rays of sunlight beam down and do their thing.

This week, I got one of those glorious moments. I have one particularly student in my grade eight class whose journey up to this point has not been an easy one for a number of reasons, not least the death of his mum last year. Needless to say, there are days when this young man finds every day school stuff difficult to cope with and by extension, I find his behaviour difficult to cope with. The only thing I know how to do in these situations is pray. I’ve driven to and from work with this broken up, angry, emotional kid on my mind, pouring out my frustrations and hopes for him to God, asking him to help me.

Prayer changes things. Gradually, on those days when I haven’t been able to see anything happening, a trust has been developing. Opportunities that I never could’ve anticipated have arisen. I even got brave and, at the prompting of the Holy Spirit, had a very frank conversation with this student about our lovely new school psychologist and how she might be able to help him get to the bottom of some of the things that stop him being the kid he wants to be. Needless, to say, we fought about it, but I am the grown-up so I won.

Reluctantly, he trudged off to his first appointment, shooting me the world’s dirtiest looks. I watched him go, asking God whether this might be the end of the relationship I had so carefully nurtured, unable to see the sunshine peeking through the clouds.

At the beginning of recess, the same young man was back in my classroom, waiting for me to pack up. On my way out, without looking me in the eye, he held out a chocolate bar he had bought me at the canteen on his way back down from the psych’s office.
“I just wanted to say thank you”.

It’s not about the chocolate; it’s not even about the thank you. The sunshine that came pouring through the clouds that morning was one young person who realised that I was not going to give up just because it was hard and that maybe he was even worth the fight. God is moving all the time, even in the mundane, even when we can’t see the sun for the clouds.

Friends Through the Bends

C.S. Lewis once said, “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You, too? I thought I was the only one.’”

Life can be tricky. Sometimes you’re doing well; everything and everybody is happy; things are running smoothly. You don’t need any help from anybody. Then, a curve ball is thrown your way, you start to feel the weight of the world on your shoulders and realise a little help would be nice after all. That’s the moment when our friends come into their own.

Exodus 17 contains a story of the power of friendship. When the Israelites fought the Amalekites, God told Moses to raise his arms as he stood on the hill surveying the battle. Moses had to hold his arms up and the Israelite army would have victory, lower his arms, and the enemy would conquer them. Have you ever tried to hold your arms up for any significant length of time? Give it a go right now and see how long you can make it! That’s right: ouch! Moses couldn’t do it. And my guess is that you would also find this impossible. You need, like Moses did, someone to come alongside you and hold your hand.

“Moses’ arms soon became so tired he could no longer hold them up.  So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on.  Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands.  So his hands held steady until sunset.  As a result, Joshua overwhelmed the army of Amalek in battle.” Exodus 17:12-13 NLT

All Aaron and Hur did was support Moses by steadying his arms when they grew weary, and encouraging him until the battle was over.   What a beautiful picture of what friendship should be. One friend holding the hand of the other, through the ups and downs of life.

One important friendship lesson I have learnt, is the friendships need to be strong enough to bend.  Have you ever felt a friend has “moved on” without you. The girlfriend who used to share everything with just doesn’t seem to be around anymore? That friend who used to have time for you is now distracted by a new group of friends? Or do you feel like some of your friends have become “lazy”?  Are you tired of being the one who always has to make contact?  Situations like these can be hard for all involved. However, there is always a reason and my bet is has nothing to do with you, even though you may think this is the case.  Sometimes, you need understand and accept that friendships can, and will, change over time; don’t take these changes so personally.

I have incredible friends, and yes my circle of friends has changed throughout my life, but I know that I am loved greatly, and I have Aarons and Hurs in my world that I am confident will hold my hand and help me through any situation that life throws at me.

This week, let’s all try and bring this spirit of Aaron and Hur to the girls in our lives. Look around you with eyes empowered by the Holy Spirit, to see who may need your support as they face a battlefield in their life this week.

Written by Natasha Ellis

Woman!

It has recently been brought to my attention how close to God’s heart we women really are. I mean, no surprises there, but seriously. A woman is the reason we are where we are now and, I was interested to learn, it was women or a woman who first heard and then shared the good news.

Women have had it tough. Our history doesn’t paint a pretty picture. We have been put down, abused, marginalised, put to death, beaten, put in an inferior place, paid less and sexualised. Still, in some parts of our world, women are refused education and barred from political participation. We were and, in many ways and places on the earth still are, slaves. We have had to fight hard for the very rights we can now exercise and the fight across the globe for equality for many women is seemingly impossibly huge.

So it is any surprise then, as a young girl, growing up in a man’s world, that I myself would probably not enjoy or even love or embrace my own womanhood? As a young person and especially through my teens, my rebellion against my own femininity extended to include not wearing dresses, make up or doing my hair (my mum especially loved this phase). I grew up as one of the boys. I skated, spat, listened to all sorts of music that highlighted further the disrespect of women. I kind of feel like my conversion to my love of women and myself as a woman is akin to Saul being transformed into Paul in the bible. I made myself tough. I decided to not be like any of the women in my life. Being a boy was easier, except, of course, really I wasn’t and I could never be.

The bible doesn’t say very much exclusively to women or about women. However, women are certainly there entwined magnificently amongst the pages. There are some extraordinary women that God chose for his own purposes. Esther and Mary Magdalene being two that stand out to me. Strong women, who sought God and lived in the very will of God. I think of these women and I know already I cannot even begin to comprehend their lives. Over two thousand years later, here I am, living in Australia; I have rights, I am respected and I have so much opportunity, because of many GREAT women before me, to allow my voice to be heard. I cannot do anything but imagine the intensity of the fear that would have penetrated through them as they stood out in faith to live the call of God on their lives. I know two things we have common, however. The first thing is that we are all born for such a time as this and the second, the responsibility for sharing the good news that Jesus is alive.

Esther is incredible. She is someone who even today in the 21st century we can all learn from. The brave Queen of Persia who saved her people because she chose to speak up and not be quiet at the right time. Women are an important group of people and we have such an opportunity to serve and honour God with how we stand up for, love and respect women. I wonder what is in each woman’s heart that they would love to see changed. Maybe it’s been something passed down your family from generation to generation. maybe you’re believing for one person. Maybe you’re believing for an end to some things very real, like domestic violence or sex slavery and you would love to see women empowered across the earth; respected as a person, not objectified. Whatever your passion, be empowered; your voice matters.

Secondly, a special Mary in the bible. She is distinguishable because of where she was from. She is controversial in interpretation, mentioned more than any of the apostles across the 4 gospels, but she was obviously important to Jesus because she was there at two crucial events in his story: his death (john 19:25) and his resurrection (Mark 16). She was as sinner, like you, like me. Jesus healed her and made her one of his disciples. All throughout the gospels, Jesus talked about the the time to come and one of the first people present to beat witness to this event is a WOMAN! Let that sink in, ladies. A WOMAN. Not Peter the denier, certainly not John the loved one. A woman. Mary Magdalene. A woman who theologians described as possibly insane, given her condition. A woman from a culture where women were not people; they were seen and not heard; they were marginalised and yet here Mary is, charged with the responsibility of being the very first soul to bear the good news.

I don’t know about you, but that makes me feel better about my womanhood. It certainly helps me to feel like I matter, that being a woman is not a disability. We are charged with many great responsibilities on this earth. First is to bear the good news of what Jesus has done for us, in us and through us. Secondly, to be brave. Jesus was all about standing up for those in society who were ostracised and looked down upon. I love this about our story. Women are as fundamebtal to change as men. From the garden of Eden to the tomb of Jesus, to our very own homes, schools, jobs and places we go in the world. Women are important. Our testimonies are relevant. Go into the world, bravely and kindly; you matter because you matter firstly to Jesus! What a great time to be a woman.
Written by Tenille McNamara

Easter: It’s all in the definition.

One of the hats in the stack that balances, a little perilously at times, on my head, is that of a high school teacher. In my day to day comings and goings in this profession, I naturally have many opportunities to observe human behaviour, mostly of the teenage variety. I have discovered that almost all of the behaviour I see comes from one core motivation: to belong; to feel loved.

Now this motivation out works itself in many ways, both negative and positive, depending on a couple of factors. Of course, the social competence and maturity of the student is imperative, but equally important is their perception of what it means to be loved and to belong somewhere. Whatever has been modelled to them as an example of love is what shapes their behaviour as they attempt to find love and acceptance among their peers.

Let me give you some examples. Students who associate affection with materialism will spend their lunch money trying to buy their friends’ affection in Killer Pythons at the canteen. Those who have experienced a feeling of powerlessness in their most important relationships sometimes turn to bullying behaviours, confusing love and control. Students who feel their sense of belonging is dependent on their success will often put a huge amount of pressure on themselves academically. It all depends on how they perceive love.

In fact we grown ups are not that different to our teenage counterparts, we just get a bit more subtle about it as we get older. The problem with this is that all of us have a different perception of love, based on our unique life experiences. How do we navigate something that is vitally important to all of us, but that none of us seems to really understand?

Well, as with everything this difficult, I choose to defer to a higher authority! I’m going back to the source: God. God is love and therefore he is the ultimate authority on love. It is from him that we learn what it means to love and what it means to be loved.

“I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends.” John 15:13-14 MSG

At Easter, we consider all the myriad of ways our lives are richer and our hearts fuller because we were loved sacrificially by Jesus. Something precious always costs deeply.

This Easter, let’s spend some time dreaming about ways to love one another sacrificially. How can you love like Jesus, in a way that is inconvenient perhaps, and extravagant, but leaves someone with a richer life and a fuller heart? How does having a perfect definition of love empower you to behave?

Never Say Never

Have you ever said to yourself, “I am NEVER going to do that again”? I have, at least a few thousand times in fact. The that, that I’m talking about has consisted of many different things. Things like texting while I’m driving; going out and getting wasted; going home and spending the night with complete strangers; acting like I don’t care about someone when inside I feel my heart being ripped apart. However, the ‘that’ that I promised myself I won’t do again the most was smoking marijuana. You may be thinking “whoa there girl, slow down a bit, that’s a pretty heavy thing to be admitting on our nice, encouraging women’s blog”. Well, you’re right! It is a pretty heavy thing to be admitting and I’m not sure that I’d be doing any kind of admitting if I was still smoking marijuana. Why? Because back when I was addicted, I didn’t think that smoking marijuana was a problem. Until one day when it became someone else’s problem.

Back then, 2003, I had been living on and off (mostly on) as a single mum. I had three beautiful girls and lived in assisted housing in Newcastle NSW. I woke up one morning, went to my stash and realised that some was missing. When you’re a drug addict you know exactly how much you have, down to the last couple of grains, so I knew for sure that SOME WAS GONE! At first, I thought that maybe a mouse had snuck in and eaten it, but a sinking feeling in my heart told me that it was my eldest daughter. I confronted her straight away and she admitted taking some. That’s when my problem became someone else’s problem.

My daughters are so precious to me and I couldn’t bare thinking about them growing up and being addicted like I was. I hated myself so much for being such a bad role model. In that moment I felt like the worst mother in the world. I thought about all the money I had wasted, all the time and memories I had lost. I had robbed my children and myself and drugs had stolen my life. However, I was determined to not rob us of our future. So I cried out to God to please help me to stop my addiction. He heard me and He helped me.

God does hear our prayers: “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man [woman] avails much”. (James 5:16). Was I a righteous woman? It might not have seemed like I was, but guess what? I WAS! I had been made righteous when I accepted the blood of Christ over my life: “God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21). God knew my heart; “And he said to them, ‘you are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is exalted among men is an abomination in the sight of God’” (Luke 16:15). That pretty well summed it up, all of my friends (and me) thought that smoking pot was okay, but it “is an abomination in the sight of God.” However, God “knows my heart”, and He knew how much I wanted to give up smoking pot and God knew how much I wanted to be a good mother, so He reached down from Heaven and helped me.

I have been drug free since 2004 and, with God’s help, I remain FREE! He says “and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free” (John 8:32). The truth in my case was hard to take. It was hard to admit that I was an addict because in doing that I also had to admit that I wasn’t the best mum, friend, daughter or person I could be. I was living a lie, trapped in my addiction, but God showed me grace and gave me freedom. If you feel trapped or like your life is hopeless or that you are worthless, STOP RIGHT NOW AND CALL OUT TO GOD. He will hear you and He will help you.

Written by Jacqui Wilson

Don’t Just Do The Journey; BE It!

I’m the type of person who constantly questions myself. I’ll admit that I’m fairly insecure and have worked very hard in my life to be confident and not let the things that I worry about shape the direction that I am going. Even in preparing this message, my over-thinking nature got the better of me! I was so caught up in preparing and stressing about today that I went to the shop and I when came out, the kids were in the car watching me.  In my rush to get home, I grabbed the handle of the car door, but when I looked up, there was a very startled guy sitting in the front seat.  I realised I had almost jumped into the wrong car and the kids were in our car in fits of laughter watching me, as was the guy in the other car!  It was one of those moments that puts life into perspective, reminding me of one of the lessons that I hold most dear: don’t forget to smile. It’s not always serious.
As well as remembering my sense of humour, it’s the basics of faith, reading the Word, praying and spending time in fellowship that have equipped me to do this God journey. However, as my faith has matured, I’ve come to recognise that there’s a bit more to it than that.

Firstly, those insecurities I was talking about before, I refuse to let them blind me. I often think of the life of Moses, in particular his burning bush episode in Exodus 3. Moses experienced a tangible, real, honest dialogue with God. You don’t forget that sort of thing in a hurry. He’s been called, equipped, had his destiny revealed; it’s a pretty powerful moment. Yet in Exodus 4, a whole chapter later, we still read about Moses being so caught up in his own insecurities that he couldn’t move forward. He tried to get God to send someone else!

I feel a bit like Moses from time to time, sometimes my insecurities also seem bigger than my calling. There have been times when I have even walked away from opportunities because of them. I’m sure I’m not alone in this! I feel so strongly, however, that we need to refocus our gaze on our king, and off our insecurities. Whatever we stand closest to looks the biggest, after all. One of the great things about the story of the Israelites is that when God did something significant in their lives, they heaped stones up in the desert as a reminder that God had done an incredible thing.  They wanted to remember exactly where they were when God moved. One such example appears in Joshua 4: “It was there at Gilgal that Joshua piled up the twelve stones taken from the Jordan River. Then Joshua said to the Israelites, “In the future your children will ask, ‘What do these stones mean?’ Then you can tell them, ‘This is where the Israelites crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’ For the Lord your God dried up the river right before your eyes, and he kept it dry until you were all across, just as he did at the Red Sea[a] when he dried it up until we had all crossed over. He did this so all the nations of the earth might know that the Lord’s hand is powerful, and so you might fear the Lord your God forever.”

I have taken this to heart in my own life and have written down whenever God has done something in my life.  This is so on the days that I am discouraged, I can go back and remember how faithful he is, it helps me to know where I am at! One of the chapters in my journey was being a youth pastor, my heart was to help…everyone, all the time! I’m not sure I knew what ‘no’ was or meant.  Five years in and I was completely exhausted. My life is my responsibility and you know what?  I thought I was capable and invincible.  No boundaries. No balance. It was such a tough lesson.  I got lost! I had no idea where I was at!

As you reading this, beautiful lady, just pause and consider where you are at in your heart?

Are you growing towards the woman you want to be, the one you are called to be, the woman He believes that you are?
To stay on the path, you need to know what the path looks like. You need to be deliberate, the path isn’t going to walk under your feet, and you need to walk the path. A quote that inspires me, from Pastor Bobbie Houston is this: “the future belongs to all of us – pioneer it, sow into it, carve noble paths through it, play your part and let history and heaven tell the story”. The incredible thing about our journey through life with God, is that it’s more about who we are than what we are doing or where we are going! Another piece of advice that has been life-changing for me is this: grab yourself a mentor and also, live like you’re a mentor. They don’t have to LOOK like you, LIKE the things you like, but they have to have the SAME heart for God and be in a position to encourage you and challenge you. A mentor is someone that you want to grow from and glean from. Proverbs 11: 14 teaches us that “where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counsellors there is safety” Similarly we read in Proverbs 27:9, “the heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.” We’ve talked at length in our Nourish community about the relationship between Mary and Elizabeth, as documented in Luke 1: 35-47. Mary was young and Elizabeth was a lot older, but when she needed someone, Mary didn’t waste a minute in heading to Elizabeth’s place. Who in the world would understand and believe what was going on in Mary more than Elizabeth?  I mean I bet her story had got around! Mary needed that reassurance and acceptance. One thing we truly believe in at Nourish is friendship and the kind of friendship we believe in doesn’t give up on people. Friends don’t leave friends behind. We won’t let them get into trouble. There are so many of my friends that used to have a relationship with God, it got too hard and we lost touch and now they are not walking with God. Now I’m not saying that their faith is my responsibility, but we all know that the more support we have through a rough time the more loved we feel and we can talk out the things we need to work through. Jesus surrounded himself with a bunch of guys that although he was teaching them, they not help but become close friends. Though they stuffed up and failed, he never judged, he only loved.  They gave him the support he needed.  They ended up giving their life for His cause, as did He. I’m going to be so bold as to say that there are specific people God puts in your path to do the journey together and to encourage one another; divinely appointed to do the God journey together. Going back to Moses, I found an example of God orchestrating a friendship to sustain ones ministry.

Moses wasn’t alone; he had Aaron, his brother, who stood in the gap for him and his shortcomings. God spoke through Moses and Aaron.  I noticed that initially, God spoke to Moses but eventually, he started speaking to Aaron as well.  Moses drew Aaron closer to God, as iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17).
A great friend will encourage your relationship with God to flourish. Realise who those friends are! Invest in those relationships, it goes both ways.  Be the friend that draws your friends closer to God. An example of this in my own life, a friend being there and rescuing me literally, was when I was 27 and engaged to be married. Three weeks before the wedding, it fell apart.  My friend Claire Morse, caught a plane to another state and over three weeks, we drove back to Tassie with me as a mess, with all my stuff, so I could move home.  She was there and just hung out and counselled, prayed with me and hugged me and sacrificed that three weeks of her school holidays to be with me in a heart breaking and embarrassing time. Relationships are powerful. They can be the key to sticking the journey out. Time is short, so let’s get specific. Think about the relationships that God wants to use in your life; don’t do the journey alone, draw your friends! It’s God’s will that none should perish, so let’s make it our will as well, and stay the path!

I Think, Therefore I Am (That’s Not Like Me!)

There is a widely held notion that I would like to challenge: that the truth of who we are comes out when we are under pressure. I would like to suggest that this is only who we are once we’ve truly owned it! Feeling under pressure, a bad day, is nothing but another opportunity to capture something more that isn’t true and speak into it, directly: “That’s not like me!”. Powerful words. Instead of lamenting and lying still, overcome by the negativity of a situation or ourselves, rather we could challenge it. We could train ourselves to catch the way we speak to ourselves during those very moments that we are under pressure. There, in that moment, STOP, pray and ask for divine intervention.

We are much more than the moments we use to define ourselves. We are defined by our creator. We are not dictated to moment by moment. We can stop and choose to cease being byproducts of our former lives, that which has already passed. We can say NO, that is nothing like me! Everything you thought and that you know up until that point is still true. You don’t have to lose a sense of who you are when the hard stuff comes; it’s an opportunity to prove to yourself that every single thing up and until that moment that you’ve been putting in is true, it IS you. You are equipped, you are defined by His mercy, you are you because of His grace.

This is true even after you’ve perceived yourself to have failed, to have turned the “wrong” way. Every second after that is an opportunity for you to turn back. It doesn’t matter what you did; that wasn’t like you. You know it, don’t you? Deep down inside yourself you’ve already kicked yourself. So why continue?

Stubbornness can only take hold and pride can prevent us from saying those dreaded words, “I’m sorry” or “I was wrong”. Now, I choke on those words sometimes too and I’ve often told myself, prided myself in it even, how stubborn I am. I’ve gone against that very something within me that says, “go the other way, go back, don’t say that..” Too late, I’ve done it. And of course, the next think is that I know I’ve convinced myself that is it, NO turning back now because I’ve done it. That was exactly like me, this is who I am. So quickly our thought run away from us…

It’s funny, how easy is it to believe those things. So easy to believe we’ve failed, and that we’re not good enough. So easy to accept our negative behaviours. To not only have a bad temper but accept it, for example.

This is real tough love stuff. It’s not natural. It took me so many years to even look sideways at getting this stuff right. I get though,that our sense of self needs to be deeply rooted in God, in His word, planted in His church. Alongside many other people who are coming to terms with what is and isn’t them.

*sings* When I was younger, so much younger than today *ahem* sorry got carried away there with The Beatles! Little bit of light humour to help us digest the heavier stuff…

Ok, now I’ll make my point. When I was younger (see it was going somewhere), I was a youth leader, but I didn’t really know who I was, I relied upon my older mentors, for the most part, to tell me what was and wasn’t acceptable. It wasn’t until I was (much) older that I realised just how much that was my responsibility. See, when I was younger in faith and in maturity I hadn’t yet grasped my own self worth. Of course, I was still learnign and capable of differentiating between what was and wasn’t me. However, I can completely empathise with those who are learning what it means to battle with things that simply aren’t them. For example, low self esteem: I needed encouragement and lots of it. I struggled with anxiety and lived in fear. Thankfully today, while some of those things are still true – anxiety can still attack under real and debilitating circumstances – the difference is my shifted thinking. I understand a lot more about who I am, what triggers I have and I have had to own a lot of thinking that God had not designed for me. I had to start small though, I wasn’t capable of tackling everything all at once (who is?). So I decided one day that I could do this, but only by slowing it down into moment by moment.

1 Corinthians 3:2 talks about different types of spiritual food. When we’re babies we need milk and as we grow, we discover real food, the tough stuff. He also says in Proverbs 4:23 to guard our hearts because it’s the place where life comes from. I think that’s pretty self explanatory. We get out what we put in, or what we don’t put in. We are responsible for what we accept and what we push away.

So next time you feel under pressure, don’t reach for that bad attitude, don’t open that cupbaord of bad habits. Think about who God says you are, open your bible and dwell in and on the words of the most high. Ephesians 2:5 I am alive.. Romans 8:2 I am free.. Psalm 139 I am planned… Phillippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who has strengthened me.

I’m sure you can find many, many more and when you do breathe in and exhale: “That’s like me”.

By Tenille